the smoky preacher

my first,very first pull was during a project i was working on when i was in class 8 or 9.we had to put real tobacco on display and to get that my mum got a cigarette from a local shop.before cutting it up and taking the tobacco out i lighted it and hesitantly took a pull and instantly put it off.didn't feel anything since i had not inhaled it.
second time was when i met a friend in my 1st year of college and a friend of his was doing it so out of curiosity i took a pull.learnt that i had not inhaled.so, i went for it again and god i had a coughing fit.
third was experimental as well in my first year.
but 7th may,2010 was the red letter day. i bought 4 with a friend.while we took turns on 1 of them there only,i took the rest home...it started with 1 a day;slowly went up to 3,4..frequency increased.i went on with it for about 4 months with breaks.now i have quit...well till today.i just had 1!some leftovers are lying around in my room.but timing was wrong.now my whole family knows i do it...and curiously i don't feel bad about it.i just want them to disappear as always.
i do not know if i started this because as a kid i used to see my grandfather smoke and nobody said it was a bad thing to do to him.i remember telling my mum that when i grow up i will smoke for real,as if stating my ambition.well,it was an ambition in a way which did get fulfilled among the many and heartfelt ones which didn't.
before coming to ju several people warned me about this "bad habit".many people do it here because,and i quote,"they wanna look cool and get stoned and dot-dot-dot"..bullshit!
some people do smoke because they want to look cool i agree.but there are many who really like it.and i can't explain why someone likes inhaling smoke if you have not done it and liked it yourself.i for instance have done it mostly alone or in the presence of very few people i know well,not to show some unknown entity that i am cool.i am not cool and i love that about me.i am a lazy couch potato.it's just like the other habits several people have.it will harm my health in the long run,i have heard that.but just like drinking or getting high or driving very fast or having any other potentially harmful habit like being a total nag(yes nagging can kill...the nagger) it exists.
i will not state here why i did it today.but i know i did not get the thrill as i used to before and as of now i quit again.
people have this idiotic habit of warning others to not do stuff they haven't done themselves,forgetting entirely that they may not do this but may do something which could be equally annoying to me or someone else.let's all deal with our own problems and not judge others' lifestyles.it's always half the truth you know....see,hear,register,erase...