Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Thursday, 20 August 2015

Begin Again

gurgaon auto colours of india
Gurgaon Autowala

No. Enough is enough. I will just shut up and start writing again! I have been feeling miserable about not being able to write about things that matter to me. I have been (what seems to me) shouting hoarse about loving writing opinion pieces about fashion and gender politics. But, what have I done the past few weeks? Just cribbed and moaned that "I don't get a good WiFi connection", "I need to do more fashion posts or no one will be interested", " I don't have any good images." I am just shutting up and letting things happen. Because the value of having a platform to speak out is immense. And I have that platform. I have poured 5 years of my life and opinions into this blog and how dare I let it go to waste! Enough is enough. I will stop making excuses. I will write about everything I have thought I should write about and then didn't these past few weeks. Forgive me, my words, for letting you get trapped like this.
Let's begin again.

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Sunday, 28 June 2015

Period Saga: Taboos We Break When We Bleed

I am a feminist. I have been one my whole life. So, one day I thought why don't I write for a feminist portal (I was already freelancing as a writer full time at this point)? And then I decided to act upon said thought. A few month's back I had pitched this idea to a feminist magazine. They had loved the idea, and I had gone ahead to get the whole photo-essay together within 2-3 days. They really loved it. But, for whatever internal issue the story never landed up on their website. No worries. I had decided even when I started working on the essay, that if it isn't picked up I will not let it go to waste. I had my own blog after all, my own platform. As, most of you know, my shift to Delhi has been full of misadventures. In short, Delhi has not been very kind to me so far. I have been rendered (briefly) homeless, penniless, with all government sanctioned identity proofs stolen. Anyhow, I finally found some time, and clarity of mind to finally blog this photo-essay I had worked hard on. I was very happy with the outcome. Especially because of the amazing responses I got from my friends. 
Read on to see what my awesome friends had to say about breaking period taboos.
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We have often wondered if breaking a period taboo actually started a calamity somewhere. Instagram recently drew such a huge backlash that they had to reinstate the photo of artist, Rupi Kaur, who posted a self-portrait of her bleeding during her period. Some have hailed her as a hero, while a few have mentioned that seeing period blood stains are equivalent to and as disgusting as seeing human excrement. Facebook and Instagram (which is owned by Facebook incidentally) have proven time and again that sexist posts are protected under their dubious guidelines as personal opinions, whereas women sharing candid photos of their natural bodies and bodily functions are the actual offenders. Our question is simple – why should a few drops of blood cause so much repulsion? We decided to speak to a few women who have grown up listening to ridiculous period taboos and asked them how they break those taboos when they bleed.

Soumi Paul


I have seen many girls frantically trying to get rid of the red stains on their clothes. But, I have never given it more importance than a mud stain or been ashamed of standing in the metro without trying to cover the stains strategically. During a cultural fest, I had to wear a burlap sack styled into a bandage dress as per the theme. I started chumming and the fact that I was wearing a sanitary napkin underneath was very obvious so, my friends asked me to take it off. Wearing a pad to ensure hygiene is again something I am proud of. I walked the ramp with a slight bulge between my legs despite the attention it drew.

Anupriya Dutta Gupta Sen


We have been brought up on a staple diet of 33 crore Gods & Goddesses from whom we are supposed to stay away on those 5 days of the month. I have always wondered that how come He, who created our body and all the workings in it, be offended by something that is His doing? This particular process of a woman's body is related to her reproductive system and something that is part of the formation of a new life can never be considered a sin, right? In my monotheist mind, God welcomes us in His abode irrespective of whether we are oozing blood or not. I never shy away from going to Him even during those 5 days.

Tanaya Das


As a teenager I was always told women on their periods should not enter temples. Assuming that God exists, how could She be okay with this nonsense? I say She because obviously God is a Woman of Colour, there is no shame talking about our periods and no need to hide that we buy sanitary napkins. So, one day I just decided to go to a temple and I swear Durga Ma in her beautiful saree gleefully winked at me and gave me a discreet thumbs up before schooling her expression for her other devotees.

Sayantani Saha


Growing up, I was taught not to talk about periods to the male species. My cramps were mistaken for all kinds of illnesses. I wanted to scream that I was not ill and shut them up. I did shut them up when I finally grew a brain. I bleed every month like half the population does and I am not ashamed of it. It is a normal bodily function which only signifies that I have a healthy body. Why hush up about it? So, I stopped making excuses and started talking about it. After all, it is only blood and some other tissues! The funny part is the incredulous look on the people's faces when you mention the P-word openly.

Rashmirekha Basu


Durga pujo is the one time in the year when we have to abide by certain traditional norms regardless of our individual convictions. It involves waking up at ungodly hours on Astami to offer anjali to the goddess. When I start my period during that time, I am not allowed to offer anjali. It does not make a difference to me because I am not religious that way, but such discriminations are archaic and are based on vague dictums of religious texts which have a perpetual male bias.  For those who regard the anjali with religious fervour, it is grossly unfair to be denied assertion of their faith based on ideas rooted in ill-informed idiocy.

Sohini Biswas


I followed taboos during my periods until I gradually realised how silly they are! I do not hesitate to buy sanitary napkins anymore nor do I feel the need to cover or hide them. We do not hide toilet paper, why pads then? It does not bother me if there is a blood stain on my pyjama. A pad fell out of my bag in front of a male friend once. Instead of panicking, I picked it up normally like I would any other thing that fell out of my bag. Periods are healthy and natural.  There is nothing to 'whisper' about it.

Oendrila De


Breaking the taboo regarding menstruation is not about the right to “Instagram” a woman’s stained sheets or abolish toilet walls. For something natural, a woman is ostracized, prevented from sleeping on her bed, and kept from praying. Innumerable women are ashamed of discussing their menstrual pains, which could be signs of severe health problems, like hormonal dysfunctions, cyst, etc. Unhealthy and unhygienic practices percolate from one generation to the other among uninformed, uneducated women because they’re ashamed to learn about it. A woman may or may not feel comfortable discussing her menstrual cycle openly. But the archaic attitude needs to change, for her health’s sake.

Sharmistha Guha Chowdhury


A menstruating woman doesn’t anger God! A woman who is menstruating is going through a natural biological process of her body. Many women feel hesitant to ask their male acquaintances to buy sanitary napkins for them. Why such shame? The sales person at the local store always gives you a look when you ask for napkins. It is like you have asked for a BOMB. Then he wraps it in a piece of paper and puts it in a black plastic bag. Save the extra work. There is no need for it. 

Swarnali Biswas


The use of two words in Bengali "shorir kharap" meaning illness is used for menstruation. It exposes the deep-seated taboo surrounding it. I too used to refer to it like that without realising that it happens to every woman and is normal and healthy!  I used to be tensed and worried if I had blood stains on my clothes.  I felt the need to hide. Nowadays, I consciously tell the shop keeper to not cover my sanitary pads because there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of. It is neither impure nor an illness.

Mahashweta Paul


Every time you ask for sanitary pads at a medical store, they wrap it in newspaper as quickly as they get it off the shelf and put it in a bag. This has always seemed strange to me and for some reason it irritated the hell out of me! Pads are hidden away as if they are used for a 'dirty' purpose. So, one day I asked the man at the counter to just give me a pack without wrapping it. He got the message. It has been a couple of years now and he does not wrap them anymore. Not even for the other ladies.

Malabi Ghosh


Dear patriarchy, we bleed to let you live. Our menstrual blood is way more powerful than your knight’s red chivalry. To you blood is death, to us blood is life. Your successor is born because we menstruate. So, stop being ridiculous, stop stigmatising the stain of life.

Thank you Sayantani for helping me edit this photo-essay, especially on such short notice back then. Lots of mint cocktail loves. :D


Thursday, 30 April 2015

Women In Leadership

So, I talk about equal opportunity and equal rights quite often on this blog and my other social media channels. I have identified as a feminist ever since I was in school. Feminism is a cool word now. Just look around and see how many mainstream channels are adopting it to sell their products now. It is also deemed a dirty word and many like to stay away from it because some people just have a severely misinformed notion about it. Many of these mainstream channels, which are often misguided in their knowledge, help in fanning such wrong notions. Feminism is not about man-hating. Feminism in fact fights for equality and justice among all genders. Men are expected to be a certain way, and do certain things in this patriarchal society which is often detrimental to their mental and physical health. A society cannot function well when any of the genders suffer. Today feminism is largely about intersectionality as well.
via
I have heard a lot of arguments from people (some level headed, some just fizzled down to name calling) who believe all the bad things about feminism. From what I understood every time, these people are either misinformed or talking about personal experiences with the faux-feminists. The faux-feminists are the ones who love shouting "equal rights" without caring to understand the actual meaning. But, I do not understand, why form your opinion about an entire movement that has done so much good (and still is doing so)  based on your personal experience with a certain bad egg? If you are a religious person, would you change your opinion about it and God in general just because that one time a holy man was accused of raping women and little boys? Would you stop believing in religion because some people choose to completely twist the holy words and use it to unleash terror in the world?

Feminism is the reason women got the right to be deemed as human beings with rational thoughts. We got the right to vote, to property. And all this culminated into a world where seeing a woman in a leadership position is a possibility. Women have reached the top in almost every field. The situation is not so good in some countries. Women have an amazingly strong support system now all across the globe. There are entrepreneurs who have successfully started their own ventures from their very own homes and gone big. Social media has helped such ventures like it couldn't be imagined before. I can count myself as one such person. I own a website and my words reach out to so many people, all thanks to social media. But, even today jokes about women leaders persist. Stereotypes about women leaders still need to be crushed. If you believe feminism is not necessary in today's world any more, to create a space for women leaders then just head over to this blog to read about Shit People Say to Women Directors.We need to fight for a tomorrow where women do not need to exist through patriarchal bargaining or suffering or unjust name calling. 

I teamed up with SheThePeople who are running a contest where you can share your own stories and opinion pieces that revolve around the theme of #EveryWomanIsALeader. Enter to win an all expenses paid trip to an exciting destination. Check out the simple guidelines *here*.

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Thursday, 16 October 2014

5 Useful Travel Tips for the Budget Conscious

I have a love-hate relationship with my city, Calcutta. No, I do not like calling it Kolkata even though it has been officially changed thanks to the whimsies of the ruling political party leaders. I don't know if that is neocolonialism deeply embedded in my psyche that makes me think this way or just my preference with the more familiar, but it is the way it is. When I was growing up, I couldn't wait till I left this city forever to settle somewhere abroad. When I started weighing the pros and cons (aka when I was old enough to understand how much money matters) I realised the dream to live in some fancy destination is not really a true dream of mine, it is the dream of travelling the world then returning home that is truly mine. This city is known as the City of Joy. But, to me it does not represent this single emotion. How can it? I have lived in this city my whole life and every lane I have been to represents something different to me. More than anything else, it feels familiar. Not safe and secure, but even the presumed dangers here are familiar to me.

North Sikkim
North Sikkim
I am not a seasoned traveller. But, I would love to travel the world on my own someday, one destination at a time, strictly on a budget. This year I took 3 short trips within India with my friends. The first one was a college trip to Lava and Lolegaon, the 2nd to Shantiniketan and the 3rd to Gangtok. These are a few things I think everyone needs to know about travelling alone, especially if you are on a budget. Do keep in mind there are a lot of other things you need to carry along, like medicines, lots of clean underwear and all your chargers(for your cameras, phones and other gadgets).
  • Carry a small tube of toothpaste that can be stowed away in a small pocket in your handbag and can be accessed easily every morning. Do not throw away old containers of these small tubes. Just refill them from a bigger tube you keep at home before every trip. Hold the mouths of the tubes firmly together and squeeze it out of the bigger tube into the smaller one. You can always share a tube with your friends.
  • Do not carry huge shampoo and conditioner bottles that you use at home. They will take up a lot of space and might come out of the bottle under pressure and ruin your clothes and other things. You do not want to spend on laundry which is usually expensive at any hotel. Carry sachets instead. They are easier to carry, cheaper and are disposable after use. Every hotel may not give shampoo bottles. 
  • Carry disposable paper soaps to save space and for easy access. Every hotel usually provides a small soap, or you can buy them at your destination. But, while you are travelling on a train or a bus these will come in handy. I forgot them this time and had to make do with hand sanitizer, which is also a pretty useful thing to carry around while travelling.
  • Trolley bags, if not rucksacks are the way to go if you want to run around between hotels, trains and buses. The 1st 2 trips I ignored the need because I travelled light. This time, between missed trains and running around the railway station for about 5 hours I realised how badly I needed to buy a trolley bag pronto. A rucksack might be too big for short trips. I had helpful travel-mates who shared the burden halfway through every time, but you may not always be so lucky. You don't want to hire a porter on a budget trip. And my bag felt heavier after each hour which made me desperately want to hire one this time.
  • If you have bought e-tickets from the online website of IRCTC and are wait listed then do yourself a favour and either buy the tickets on tatkal or buy them from the ticket counter in person. This is a valuable lesson we learnt this time. Many of you may know that wait listed e-tickets get dropped on final charting. Of course I am writing this for the non-smartasses who do not  know this information. At least IRCTC will refund the money because we were on wait list. If you missed the train you would end up losing the money entirely. So, reach the station on time if you have reservation. We came back in an AC sleeper bus (which cost us a little more than the train would have) which was full of families who had met with a similar misfortune like us. The bus journey wasn't as bad as we had expected and would have in fact been a better experience if the bus reached Calcutta a little earlier. Do use the washrooms at every bus stop and try charging your phone at every stop if it is feasible.
Sikkim
Misty Mountains Cold-(yes I just referenced LOTR. I had thought of it while taking the photo only.)
Over all I have loved all my trips so far. India isn't safe enough for solo vacations for girls yet(although someday I would love to take a solo trip, but it might get lonely). It is always better to have someone watch your back. I learnt from my travel-mate, Anu how to be in zen mode when situations are completely out of control. I learnt I am a semi-good mimic and provide good enough entertainment even in such out-of-control situations. Here's hoping I get to travel more, to more beautiful places and to learn something new everywhere I go. Don't get discouraged by what others have to say. You don't need a lot of money for travelling, you don't need to have lived on your own to be independent enough to know your mind and you don't need to travel with a guy every time to watch over you for safety. Truth be told, I did not feel unsafe anywhere I went with these girls. We did get quizzical looks and some assumed we must be related.
Make your own memories and be unafraid to experience new things (unless it's something gag-worthy enough to make you super sick. After all, you do not want to spend your vacation in the bathroom or the local hospital).

kolkata fashion bloggers
With Anupriya DG and Soumi Paul in Gangtok

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Durga Puja 2014 - Trends Spotted

I saw a good deal of Normcore fashion this year while pandal hopping. But, I am not really sure how many of them consciously dressed up that way. Normcore fashion is where people dress up in a normal way to look same rather than stand out. Read this *article* to get an idea of what is Normcore as documented by artist Hans Eijkelboom.

paan stall outside Badamtal Durga PandalBut I did not capture the denim on denim and other Normcore craziness during Durga Puja for you! Here are 3 of the biggest trends I spotted this year. All my fashionable friends wore gorgeous sarees every day. Well, of course I didn't. I did wear an ethnic kurta with a beautiful printed vest on Ashtami. And I gorged on a sumptuous Italian fare at Spaghetti Kitchen that day. Also watched Haider on the first day of release and loved every bit of it.I wrapped up that awesome day by promptly falling down wearing flat shoes and tearing my beautiful red leggings on the way back.

Printed leggings were everywhere, they were mostly paired with bum covering long tops and flats

the Anarkali salwar kameez was everywhere! It was a bit weird how many of these I spotted this time.

Kolkata Fashion Bloggers
No one wore the saree better or more fashionably than city bloggers Soumi and Anupriya DG. Soumi draped her saree over leggings! It doesn't get more trendsetting than that. Love Anu's necklace and clutch. Learn how to put a twist on your traditionals from these 2 ladies.

outside Badamtala Durga Puja
People really do forget all about calories during these 5 days

And with this I wish you a Subho Bijaya and Happy Dussehra!

In association with Lifestyle International I will be highlighting the food, fashion and atmosphere of Durga Puja here on the blog.


Thursday, 2 October 2014

Durga Puja 2014

I have noticed my favourite photos tend to be the ones that echo solitude.
Here are a few of my favourite shots from Sashthi and Saptami.

Sribhumi durga puja
Sribhumi
Sribhumi Durga
Sribhumi Durga
Rajdanga Durga Puja
Rajdanga Durga
Bosepukur Durga Puja
Bosepukur Pandal
Dhaak
Dhaaki
Target balloon
Outside Badamtala Durga Puja
Carnival ride
Before the ride starts again for customers she gets a free ride
Chandipath
Chandipath on Saptami at Babubagan Durga Puja
blue sasthi outfit
Sasthi Blues - style spotted

In association with Lifestyle International I will be highlighting the food, fashion and atmosphere of Durga Puja here on the blog.


Saturday, 23 August 2014

How To:Hair Chalking, 90s Inspired Grunge Green Hair

Our decade can easily be defined as the comeback era. We have taken everything good from the past style decades and put a modern twist on them. Grunge and Gothic subcultures have always attracted me because of their aesthetic appeal. My wardrobe predominantly consists of blacks and darker solids. As much as I love prints, it leaves me feeling slightly chaotic. So, I instinctively tend to reach out for solids. I have done a couple of posts previously about how to colour your hair unnatural shades. I have done a post about How To Do Pastel Hair (if you do not have chalk pastel) that discusses how to put the colour in your unbleached hair step by step. I did another one  How To: Lighten Dark Asian Hair Without Bleach where I described in detail how to lighten your dark hair before colouring in a gradual and safe way with the soap capping method.
Grunge styles are inherently gritty. It regales in imperfections, a slight messiness. The colour looks best when it's slightly faded. Opt for a piece-y/choppy shag haircut. Leave your long locks slightly wavy. Your hair should look like it's not been made up. Mr. Cobain and his hair was a huge inspiration in the Spring 2013 designer runways. Just look up Peter Som's Spring 2013 collection to get an idea. The hair was absolutely fantastic. P.S. - Green hair has shown up at the Indian Fashion Week 2014. Check out the Easton Pearson show *here*
Here are a few tips to get the perfect (imperfect?) 90s Grunge green hair with hair chalk pastel:
  1. Shampoo your hair and use a light conditioner if at all. I would advice not to use conditioner. It prevents the colour from depositing it's pigments properly even if hair chalking doesn't lead to penetration of the colour into the hair.
  2. Use the twisting method I wrote about in the 1st post (scroll up to see link to the relevant post). The friction leads to better colouring. Do it on wet hair. This time I used the blow drier to set the colour.
  3. You do not need lightened hair. This green would have showed on unbleached hair as well, not as brightly perhaps but, still would have showed up.
  4. But, having said that ^ I did like the effect better with my lightened hair. There was a three tone ombre effect which was everything 90s Grunge hair ideally is supposed to be. You do not need to damage your hair with bleach. You can use the soap capping method instead. Follow the detailed directions provided in my previous post (link provided above).
  5. If you prefer a more pastel Grunge effect then you need lighter hair than mine. 
 I used soft hair chalk pastel from Born Pretty. Shade - Dark phtalo green 026. I also have their Magenta 022 (seen *here*). It was very easy to put them in my hair and the colour showed up pretty easily. Just wear regular plastic gloves that you you would wear to colour hair to avoid staining. The pastels did not break while applying and there is still a lot left. They are a steal at only $1.27 each.
90s grunge green hair
images via google, pinterest, tumblr.
Sport it in an off duty ballerina bun hairstyle just like in the 3rd photo. It is the hottest hair trend of 2014, been spotted at Diane Von Furstenberg, Altuzarra to Marchesa. Well so are all kinds of fun braids. Why not try a braided bun like at the Dolce & Gabbana show?


Friday, 6 June 2014

World By The Window

A little corner of my own. Where I sit and think of all those who promised to stay and left, leaving their faces all around, in my head, in my heart, in my home. I sit here and hear all the shouts and screams and silences. I sit here and breathe freedom, all the while contemplating my great escape. Where I sit and write when you said goodbye, where I lie and sigh and watch the rain.

bed by the window sill


Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Polka Dotted Pants

I generally do not order bottoms online. I am very skeptical about sizing. But, what is funny is that a couple of weeks ago I realised I have been wearing the wrong pant size for over a year. I had convinced myself that I was 2 sizes larger, and when the pants started feeling roomier soon enough I thought it was because I had lost weight (by doing nothing just so you know). I took a leap of faith and ordered these pants from Romwe, I love the polka dotted pattern and can't wait till it arrives. Keeping my fingers crossed about size. Here's a little mood board I chalked up on polyvore.

Romwe Polka Dotted Pants


Get it here. It goes upto a size XXL from XS.

FlySongbird

Saturday, 22 February 2014

14th February, 2014


red hair, maxi skirt

I took this shot last week in an empty corridor running up to my department in my college. There is a stillness in this photo, a certain calmness and light that is very peaceful.



Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Girl, Interrupted

Wishing You 
A
Happy New Year
~
with this rather demented "artwork" (term used very loosely) of mine.

girl, interrupted poster

Dress - c/o Front Row Shop; Get it here

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Thursday, 12 December 2013

Links I Love


  1. Do you know what psychopomps are? I tweeted today it's my word of the day. Read about 10 psychopomps from ancient mythology.
  2. The world is not skinny vs fat. "Bodies Aren't Ugly. Bullying Is" campaign created by  "The Militant Baker" is a powerful photo series. Check it out here. There has been 588 submissions as I type.
  3. The Outsider by Albert Camus is one of my favourite books. The Outsider (aka The Stranger) and other really short classics that you should read up without any excuses.
  4. This Pantene #WhipIt campaign made by BBDO Guerrero that beautifully shows the stereotypes both men & women view each other through.
  5. Did you know: the first interracial TV kiss was in 1968 between Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Uhura in Star Trek. 10 memorable and defiant firsts in TV history.
  6. These women are the bomb!
  7. Loving these colour photos from the First World War.
  8. This tweet talking about the Indian politicians in the face of the recent LGBTQ debacle is appropriately funny.
  9. If you love Bollywood and think posters are an art form then this Minimal Bollywood Posters page is for you.

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Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Supermassive : Inspiration

I am always naturally attracted to dark colours, dark stories, dark personalities and with winter here I regale in having a darker wardrobe, a darker makeup palette. Violetta E is a source of supermassive inspiration to me.

biker jacket
red lips
girl smoking
violetta e
violetta e

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